How ISTPs Can Become Better Versions of Themselves

ISTPs are often called "realistic actionists" - they are calm, pragmatic, independent, and like to use their hands and logic to solve practical problems. Many ISTPs are born with an aura of "I'll get it done", don't like to talk much, and just want to get things done efficiently.

However, as they grow older, there are more and more challenges in life and the workplace, and ISTPs often encounter some growth bottlenecks: interpersonal relationships are stuck, goals are difficult to stick to, opportunities are missed due to poor expression or connection with others... These are not the fault of personality, but a signal that we need to know ourselves more comprehensively and manage ourselves.

Today, we will start from 3 key points to talk about how ISTPs can become a more mature and smooth self while retaining their independent nature.

1. Learn to express and make the relationship smoother

ISTPs often express themselves by “not saying anything if possible”. It’s not that they don’t understand emotions, but they just think it’s unnecessary to say too much, or they don’t know how to say it without being embarrassed.

They are better at “doing” rather than “saying”, and are used to using actions instead of words, such as silently helping you fix broken appliances, and appearing at the first time when you need them. But the problem is that not everyone can understand these “silent concerns”.

Over time,

ISTPs are easily misunderstood as cold and emotionless in intimate relationships, and may also miss opportunities or resources in the workplace due to too little communication.In fact, learning to express does not mean becoming talkative or “emotional”, but learning to use a way that suits you to let others see the warmth and position in your heart.

You can start practicing with simple things, such as: after completing a task, add a sentence "I spent some time optimizing this, it should be smoother", which not only conveys the effort, but also makes it easier for others to understand your contribution; or when a friend expresses emotions, try to say "I don't know how to comfort you, but I am willing to listen to you", which is more powerful than silence.

Emotional expression does not have to be sensational, the key is to let the important people know that you care. After learning this step, the quality of ISTP's relationship will be greatly improved, and communication will become smoother and more natural.

Next, I will recommend some books and film and television works, from which ISTPs can learn a lot of communication tips:

● "Nonviolent Communication"

A super practical communication book that teaches you how to express your needs without aggression and listen to the other party better. Suitable for ISTPs who are confused about "how to say".

●《The Courage to Be Disliked》

Although this book talks about psychological issues, the concepts of "relationship boundaries" and "being yourself" are very suitable for ISTPs who like to be alone and often feel exhausted in relationships.

●《Quiet》

A book that speaks for introverts, making you realize that being inexpressive does not mean being worthless. After reading it, you will be more accepting of your own rhythm and understand the world of others better.

●《Good Will Hunting》

The story of the relationship between a genius boy and a psychologist, with restrained emotions and tension, from which you can experience the power of "opening your heart".

●《Human World》

This medical documentary records a large number of real moments of human feelings, which is quiet but profound, and makes you start to think about the meaning of "expression" and "connection".

2. From "problem solving" to "setting goals"

ISTPs have a very practical way of thinking. When encountering something, they first use their hands and brains to quickly find solutions, which is one of their major advantages.

But this "problem-oriented" thinking also has blind spots - only focusing on the tasks at hand, it is easy to ignore long-term planning and accumulation. For example, you are good at handling emergencies at work, but you are not very proactive in thinking about your career path three years later; you are proficient in a certain skill in life, but you have not systematically polished or shared it - especially at the moment when knowledge payment is in full swing.

Setting goals is not to restrict freedom, but to make your abilities go further. You can completely use "project thinking" to look at goals: just like repairing a machine or building a structure, break it down into small tasks and complete them step by step.

For example, if you want to change careers, you can start from the stages of "understanding the industry" → "self-learning skills" → "making a portfolio" → "building connections", instead of being trapped in the cycle of "I'm not ready yet".

Learn to switch from "temporary response" to "long-term design", and the execution of ISTP can truly become a stable and continuous force.

Similarly, for this part of improvement, I will also recommend some books for ISTP:

● "Getting It Done: The Art of Stress-Free Work"

This book is regarded as the Bible of time management by many efficient people. It is suitable for hands-on people like ISTP to establish the habit of task decomposition, promotion, and review from practice.

● "Less, but Better"

Learn to focus on the most important things. Suitable for re-clarifying the direction when there are too many goals and it is easy to be distracted.

● "Principles" (Ray Dalio)

A "bottom-level logic guide" that talks about both life and work, using actual cases and systematic thinking to help you understand what is a truly sustainable growth path.

3. "Long-term investment" and "accumulated thinking" are very important

ISTP's ability to act and execute has always been online. As long as it is a problem to be solved at the moment, they can always calmly get started and solve it quickly.

Because of this, they often prefer "short-term feedback" tasks - start immediately and see results immediately, which makes them feel refreshed.

But many truly important things in life, such as fitness, investment, deep skill learning, and even business relationships, require long-term persistence and accumulation.

This is a challenge and an opportunity for growth for ISTPs: Learning to shift their focus from "getting today" to "accumulating tomorrow" not only makes them feel more in control of their lives, but also makes it easier to break through the "plateau" in development.

You can try to use records to help yourself build patience, such as setting a 30-day "micro-goal" and insisting on punching in every day; or record your growth trajectory in a note-taking software (I strongly recommend Notion) so that you can intuitively see your progress curve.

You must know that the real powerful ability is not to do it right once, but to do it right for a long time. Practice taking your time so that you are no longer swayed by short-term emotions and can control your sense of rhythm.